Reviewing Movies On The Big Screen

I love nothing more than going to the cinema with The Girlfriend, seating ourselves in a dark corner at the back, and then trying to cop a feel.

Invariably this earns me a sharp jab in the throat, forcing me to swallow blood for the next few hours and making me concentrate on the movie at hand.

These are my reviews, from latest to oldest, which means the oldest ones would be at the bottom, and the latest ones would be at the top. Sorry for stating the obvious, but some of you seem quite slow, so I thought I would spell it out.

Besides the Hardy Boys mystery books and Scope magazine, Batman comics were always a popular reading choice as a young lad growing up in the psychedelic 80's. The dark, eerie and sometimes scary tone was never quite reflected on the big screen however. Sure, there were attempts in previous incarnations - besides Batman and Robin, which was incredibly mediocre and rather camp - but it was only in Batman Begins that the true essence of the Caped Crusader was really captured.

This continues with The Dark Knight, the sequel starring Christian Bale and the late Heath Ledger. This movie has been hyped up to the Moon, what with all the anticipation after the success of the previous film, together with the tragic death of Ledger. More

I once paid R200 for a warm Amstel.

It was a cold and dark Friday night at a nightclub called Blink in Claremont, I had just consumed 23 bottles of Smirnoff Ice (one after the other, it was sort of my "thing" at the time) and needed a change of beverage, otherwise I would have thrown up, which would probably have prevented me from making out with the flossie I was trying to impress. With the light at Blink being notoriously dim, and due to the fact that I DID just consume 23 bottles of Smirnoff, the R200 note understandably resembled a R20, and I generously told the ample-chested barlady to keep the change.

The annoyance experienced thereafter however, was NOTHING compared to the way I felt after watching Hancock, the new "movie" starring Will Smith. More

So this weekend we decided to watch the new Incredible Hulk film. Many of you would have remembered the earlier Hulk film, made about 5 years back, starring Eric Bana and directed by Ang Lee. You would have remembered it because the film was so incredibly devoid of action, causing many viewers to die through sheer boredom, which I think pissed off many people.

Seriously, it was like The Ring - people were dropping like flies - so much so that the movie studios decided to make a new one as a "Sorry we f*cked up" gesture. This incarnation, starring the always reliable Edward Norton, goes a long way toward actually doing that. More

I was in two minds when I walked into the cinema to watch Iron Man. Firstly, because The Girlfriend threatened to inject pepper spray into my eyeballs if the movie sucked, as she wanted to watch Sex and The City instead. Secondly, I remember the cartoon series from the nineties being pretty shitty, with other superhero cartoons like Spiderman and X-Men kicking it squarely in the balls.

And thirdly, I noted that the movie was directed by Jon Favreau, best known for directing the kids' film Zathura, which I never watched, but understood to be pretty mediocre. More

It was movie night at the Favourite Son household, and that meant only one thing - we were going to watch a movie.

Not just any movie though, we were in the mood for a special effects blockbuster, with digital surround sound to temporarily deafen us. Naturally then, we decided on The Bucket List, starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman. More

I Am Legend is the latest Hollywood blockbuster starring Will Smith, enabling Will Smith to save the world again.

Will Smith CLEARLY loves saving the world, as he has done it no less than eight times now:

1) Independence Day - Will Smith saves the world from aliens.
2) Men In Black - Will Smith saves the world from... aliens again.
3) Men In Black II - AGAIN with the aliens. F**k.
4) Wild Wild West - Will Smith saves the world from a giant robot spider thingy.
5) Enemy Of The State - Will Smith saves the world from evil spies and shit.
6) I, Robot - Will Smith saves the world from homicidal robots.
7) Hitch - Will Smith saves the world from unromantic men.
8) I Am Legend - Saving the world again. More

It was 8:30 at the Favourite Son household, it was coffee time, and I had put three sugars in The Girlfriend's cuppa instead of her usual two. Normally, this would result in her beating the bare soles of my feet with extra dry droe wors, but on this occasion she was in a PARTICULARLY foul mood, and decided to punish me accordingly.

So it came to pass then, that I found myself at the cinema watching The Jane Austen Book Club, a bonafide chick flick if ever there was one. More

Ever since the massive success of "The Lord Of The Rings", movie studios have been turning any old fantasy novel into a "fillum", hoping to cash in.

Some have been pretty good, like "Narnia (The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe)" whilst others have turned out to be rather mediocre. More

After a long hibernating Winter, it's movie season again, and so The Girlfriend and I found ourselves at the cinema watching Ratatouille, a film about rats and their fondness for cooking fine French cuisine.

This is ironic as I remember meeting a rat once many years ago during my high school days, where I attempted to befriend it as I was quite lonely and would often get picked on by the girls because I would get my mom to cut the crusts off my sarmies, and this was apparently frowned upon in modern society.

"Hello there, my rodent friend," I said to my rodent friend, who was lounging near the Recycling Area, having a Rothman's Mild cigarette. More

I remember when Kanye West came down for a concert in Cape Town last year. My friends literally shat themselves in excitement when they heard the news on the radio, which left me feeling slightly disgusted and resentful as this all occurred in my car, leaving me to take it away for a valet cleaning.

Nevertheless, I liked Kanye's music, and in the ensuing months, also became increasingly excited, even going so far as to have his name tattooed on my derriere ( which I've since managed to remove with a combination of Dettol soap, a scour, and steely and determined resolve)

The concert arrived with much fanfare and I was left feeling....... well...... underwhelmed. Basically I had put too much buildup to the event and the concert, while good, still left me feeling a little flat. More

It was movie time again, and I was excitedly looking forward to watching Spiderman 3, having put the poster up in the bedroom at The HQ for months beforehand. The Girlfriend though, was not up for it and lobbied for an alternative flick, so we settled the argument in the age old tradition - with a fearsome game of "Ching Chong Cha" (Paper Rock Scissors).

Sadly for me, The Girlfriend happens to be an incredibly gifted player, having made the regional finals for 6 years running. More

Attending a Catholic primary school in the early 90's, I quickly learnt that violence is the best way to solve any problem.

"Diplomacy is for Devil Worshippers and Communists", bellowed old Sister Mary Clarence, an old bird incredibly intollerant toward devil worshipers and communists, and so many debates would be settled on the hallowed tarred playgrounds of one of Jesus's holy schools.

I was lead to recall these heady days as I watched 300 with The Girlfriend the other day. More

I normally make a point not to watch Oscar winning films. I remember watching "Million Dollar Baby" a couple of years back, the multi-award winning film which was so boring I ended up drowning my goldfish Lawrence, which wasn't a bad thing in the end because I later found out he had been spreading horrible rumours about me behind my back.

So it was with slight trepidation that I ended up watching "Babel" which had been critically acclaimed. It also starred Brad Pitt so it couldn't be that bad, right? More

I normally make a point not to watch Oscar winning films. I remember watching "The English Patient" a few years back, the multi-award winning film which was so boring I ended up gnawing my arm off, which wasn't a bad thing in the end because I had been born with three arms and had endured many years of ridicule because of it.

So it was with slight trepidation that I ended up watching "The Departed" which earned director Martin Scorsese his golden gong. I had enjoyed "Goodfellas" and "Raging Bull", but wasn't impressed with "Gangs of New York" and didn't bother seeing "The Aviator" either. Why am I mentioning those films, you ask? Because they were all directed by Martin Scorsese, that's why. More

As everyone knows, Tuesday is Movie Night, and the other night The Girlfriend and I went to catch Little Miss Sunshine. This film has been receiving rave reviews from critics everywhere and so understandably I was a little hesitant to go and see it, as my movie tastes tend to go against popular critical convention. (To this day I am still pissed that Van Wilder never received the Oscar nomination I felt the movie rightly deserved)

Although my favoured brand of comedy tends to fall under the lowbrow toilet humour variety, I found this film incredibly funny. The jokes are not thrown in your face, and a lot of it derives from the awkward human interaction between an excellent cast. More

As everyone knows, Tuesday is Movie Night, and the other night The Girlfriend and I went to catch The Prestige. I had read a lot of good press about this, I had enjoyed director Christopher Nolan's previous film, Memento. I also like Batman and Wolverine, and I've got a soft spot for Michael Caine, who is like the eccentric old British neighbour everyone wishes they had.

The film is interesting in that it shows you another side of the magician's world, behind the curtain. I always thought of magicians as lovable old people who smelt of copper and cabbage. This film shows that there is more to the Magnificent Marvin and his friends than meets the eye. More

As everyone knows, Tuesday is Movie Night, and the other night me and The Girlfriend (sorry, The Girlfriend and I) went to catch Blood Diamond. Not usually a big Leonardo DiCaprio fan but I had heard some good things from people I trust, and so went along with an open mind. After watching it, let me say, believe the hype. In fact, to steal a line from The 40-Year-Old-Virgin:" I always thought that Leonardo DiCaprio was like a Streisand, but he's rocking the shit in this one!"

He plays a total badass by the name of Danny Archer, or "Denny Orcher" as he calls himself, in his near flawless South African accent. The movie can best be described as an action flick with a conscience. More

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