Who DOESN'T Drink Pongracz?

Tuesday Night. Tiger Tiger, Claremont. The Brand Ambassador and myself have just polished off a bottle of Pongracz and, being greedy, a second bottle has found it's way to us. It proves to be a bit heavy though and so we look for some angels to share the second bottle, as we're not quite sure we can manage, and that would just be embarrassing.

[Shaun approaches four pretty angels at the bar]

Me: Hello there, ladies. Are we all having a great time tonight?
Obnoxious Girl In Group: Oh Godddddd....
Me: Excuse me, princess. I wasn't speaking to you. I don't care whether you're having a great time. Run along now. I'm busy talking to your hot friends.
Obnoxious Girl In Group: Excuse me?
Me: You heard me.
Obnoxious Girl In Group: You're a f**king arsehole.
Me: Whatever, Trevor.
Obnoxious Girl In Group: What did you just say?
Me: I said, "Whatever, Trevor."
Obnoxious Girl In Group: Did you just call me "Trevor"?
Me: No, it's just a saying.
Obnoxious Girl In Group: Whatever.
Me: Trevor.
Obnoxious Girl In Group: Please stop. That's not clever or amusing.
Me: Anyhoo... so as I was saying...
Impatient Girl In Group: Jesus, what do you want?
Me: Well, if you stop interrupting me, maybe I can tell you.
Impatient Girl In Group: Well?
Me: You've put me off my game now. Give me a second. Let me collect my thoughts.
Obnoxious Girl In Group: You're not very good at this.
Me: Get off my case, I have a lot on my mind right now.
Impatient Girl In Group: Please hurry up and do your pitch, there are three other guys behind you waiting to speak to us.
Me: Okay, my friend and I were showing off earlier and we now have too much champagne. Would you like to take it off our hands?
Hot Girl In Group: We're not drinking tonight.
Me: You're not drinking tonight?
Hot Girl In Group: We're not drinking tonight.
Me: You have a Smirnoff Spin in your hand.
Hot Girl In Group: That doesn't count as a drink.
Impatient Girl In Group: We don't drink champagne.
Obnoxious Girl In Group: We also think you're weird. And you dance badly. Go away.

[Shaun takes the walk of shame back to the other side of the bar.]

The Brand Ambassador: Dude, you suck.



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