Shaun Does Some Sports Writing

As my mom keeps telling me - I tend to be quite a bitter individual, and deeply resent the success of others. I hold special contempt for professional sportmen and other elite athletes, as I can barely catch a cold, let alone a hard piece of pig-skin hurtling toward me at 150km/h. I blame my high school coach, Mr Le Grange, who never saw my vast, untapped potential and instead, made me the 14th man in cricket, and made me clean and polish the rugby boots for our first team.

I am thus deeply envious that the likes of Ronaldo, Dan Carter and Lewis Hamilton can earn in excess of $2.5 million a year, whilst I only pull in about $1.5 million (and that's BEFORE tax. BEFORE!).

It's fitting then that I will now be writing a regular column for Sports Leader, the sporting section of the Mail & Guardian Online. There, I will be sharing my unique insight on football, rugby and other sporting codes on a regular basis, and it should make for riveting reading. I'm not sure how Some Other Guy got his pic up there instead of mine, but he's quite sneaky that way.

My first column has just been posted, and already it's making waves. I just got an angry phone call from someone called Joel Santana, and I keep getting "Please Call Me's" from a number I've traced to Safa (South African Football Association). Here is an extract:

Our national football team, Bafana Bafana, have always taken great pride in humiliating their long suffering fans, with this past Saturday’s performance proving to be no exception. In losing to Sierra Leone, a country comprising of 253 people, 14 dogs and a large tree stump, Bafana merely upheld a tradition of limp performances when playing away from home, and now face the very real prospect of failing to qualify for the 2010 African Cup of Nations.

Read The Rest Of It Here.

And don't be shy to comment.

Toodles.



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